Four-Eight-Four [dot org]

Note: My tongue is planted firmly in cheek here, if it’s not obvious.

I’ve lived in Chattanooga for around one year and nine months now. Not long, but long enough that I can see that Ron Littlefield doesn’t know what he’s doing as far as managing the weather goes.

This is my second winter here, and we’ve had no accumulation of snow and very little snowfall at all, at least down here in the valley. What kind of winter is that? Come on, Ron, give us some snow! I didn’t move from Raleigh, NC toward the mountains for nothin’! Back in Asheville, where I lived before Chattanooga, they’ve gotten over 12 inches in the last 24 hours! We’re a bigger city than them, with more resources … surely we can do better! Plus, think of all the people who are out of jobs … folks who make snowplows, folks who sell the salt and sand they scatter on the roadways when we have freezing weather. Think of the children, man!

As if that wasn’t bad enough, last summer we had a drought. We did fine down here by the river, but folks in the general area who weren’t so close ended up running out of water. Obviously Ron didn’t think of the welfare of everybody around and provide us with enough rain. Those Republicans never do think about the welfare of people who aren’t as well-off as they are.

One particular weather mis-management choice Mr. Littlefield has made that has affected me personally is that he hasn’t scheduled enough thunderstorms. I like ‘em. I like to sit on the porch and watch the lightning and hope it doesn’t strike something close enough to my house to make me jump out of the porch swing and bang my head on the roof. Any mayor worth his salt could give us more thunderstorms, and do it without the nasty stuff like high winds, hail, tornados, and direct lightning strikes that destroy property.

Most recently, anybody watching the weather who is honest would have to agree that it looks like Mr. Littlefield doesn’t know what the heck he’s doing as far as managing the temperature goes. Monday I was wearing shorts and a t-shirt, and then yesterday night it was below 30 and snowing (but not enough for any accumulation down here; shame on you, Ron!). Isn’t he a competent enough mayor to keep the temperature somewhat consistent from day to day? Can we have some gradual changes here, please?

Those are just a few examples that come to mind that demonstrate that Ron Littlefield has destroyed our local weather while in office. I fully expect that he won’t do enough to prevent a drought this coming summer either, which will probably mean that Georgia will invade and annex all of Nickajack Lake plus St. Elmo. If they do that, Atlanta will drain the entire Tennessee River dry within a week! To not do anything to prevent a drought now, like pre-scheduling enough rainfall for the summer, and giving us a wet spring, will certainly invite disaster!

So, we need somebody to run for mayor against Littlefield … somebody who can provide Hope ™ and offer real Change ™, especially in the weather.

P.S. I figure if folks blame the president for the economy, I can blame the mayor for the weather. Right?

P.P.S. Actually I think the mayor has more control over the weather than the president has over the economy …